Alkaline: An essential way of eating

What the what is Alkaline?

Well let me just be the voice for your body vessel for a minute and let you in on a little lost ancient knowledge.

We’re basically talking about the pH of your internal system— just like water, our bodies can skew acidic or alkaline.

And our bodies operate at their most optimal in an alkaline state.

Here’s the kicker… disease and illness can only exist in acidic environments, not alkaline.

Plus it can help reduce inflammation, which is a primary symptom of chronic diseases for which reducing it can often times lead the body back to a state of ease from dis-ease.

And it’s the foods we choose to nourish our bodies with that directly contribute to which way that alkaline / acidic meter skews, and in turn the amount of inflammation in our bodies.

Can it really be that simple to stay healthy & feel well in our bodies? I vote yes!

So let’s give our body vessels the gift of an alkaline environment.

Cuz guess what we have direct power in… the foods we eat!

Here we go!

So the advice is a food balance of
80 alkaline / 20 acidic

Easy enough, let’s take inventory!

View fullsize

This lovely chart is from a book called Honestly Healthy: Eat With Your Body in Mind, the Alkaline Way by Natasha Corrett & Vicki Edgson. Massive thanks to their insight!

Umm… so yeah, if you’re anything like me this was a real eye opener!

Clearly a balancing act is in order.

Now that we know, the way to express love for ourselves is to act on it ❤︎

So, here we go!

Travel Reflections: Peru

How are my travels going so far?

PERU EDITION

—

In two-words— Loved it!

Even 5-months in, it’s my favorite destination so far. I don’t know if it’s because it was my first country abroad for this journey or if its because it was so full of amazing activities, but this place still sticks out in my mind for the win!

Amazon Rainforest via Iquitos

It’s my first weekend abroad and my entire Lewis group said for them it was too soon for a trip having just arrived in Peru, but the rainforest is something I’ve dreamt of seeing since being a kid and even though I’d met no-one who would be going, I knew I must go. And this is where I first bonded with Umoja and Dom. The journey there itself required a flight, to a van, to a downhill trek, to a boat, to the lodge. We were greeted, settled into our cabins, and off to our first venture through the rainforest… in the rain mind you! So fitting and what a welcome. The next morning started off with a daytime river exploration, followed by a nighttime walking forest adventure.

The thing that stuck out the most were the sounds of the rainforest. Each time of day with its own distinct symphony. 

The canoe ride on our first afternoon with a light drizzle. The ripple of the drops on the surface of the water looked like sparkling glitter dancing on the surface. A most mesmerizing view. 

And the bonding time with my roommate Naja. She is to this day one of the best things that’s come from this trip, meeting her, getting to know her. She is a gem and I feel so grateful for the time spent together.

In Peru, I learned what I am capable of.

I was pushed beyond my limits and out of my comfort zone in such a range of life.

Rainbow Mountain

Hiking Rainbow Mountain in the Sacred Valley, I realized my own strength and endurance. That I can indeed achieve anything I put my mind to, by pacing and taking one step at a time and remembering to pause take in the views along the way. 

Huacachina

At Huacachina Reloaded, an overnight curated event, was the moment that I realized I’d made it to the dream I’d set out for myself.

This was my life, the image I’d imagined for so long, I was living it in waking life. Middle of the desert, bonfire going, music playing, blankets and pillows surrounding, a group of friends dancing and having a blast taking in the moment as the sun sets over the horizon. This was what I came for—

I did this. I chose me.

And here I am in the middle of that dream that I now call my life. 

xoxo

Is the bulging suitcase worth it?

And here I thought I packed well. It’s incredible what happens when you carry your entire life around in a suitcase. 

Last month I was rooming with a guy from the group I’m traveling with. It’s not the first time we’ve lived together and both times he walked by my room on packing day and said— 

‘So much stuff.’ 

Which to me is always ironic because we all travel with the same weight allotment, yet why did I seemingly have ‘so much stuff.’ 

Last time I sort of brushed it off as, well if you only knew me before with my closet and two dressers busting at the seams, this is pretty darn good. 

But the last couple of months purging has been at the back of my mind and not for the reasons you might think. The amount of time it takes me to strategically pack everything amongst my bags to make the airline size and weight limits is like a full day affair and quite frankly I’m just over it. 

Much less walking through the airport with it all— every single month. 

I’d definitely been pushing the limits anyways, running on luck that the airlines never actually check the carry on or personal items weight. 

I’m envious of my smooth gliding friends not fumbling around with their luggage like I do— mind you I travel with a rolling duffle that broke a wheel last month so it’s basically me dragging 50lbs of nonsense across the ground. It’s enough to make anyone want to pitch the thing. The same guy who says I have so much stuff always nicely offers to help me with my bag though— gem of a guy really. 

But this month I said no more! I’m purging! I want that free-wheeling lifestyle! 

So I went and got myself a 64Euro roller bag and said here I go on a purge spree. 

Flash forward to a long sit with all my clothes laid out on the bed not even knowing where to start, going back on myself being like is it actually bad to have all these. And easy for a guy to say I have so much stuff, guys have it easy. And then rational mind decides to show up and I’m like, well girls can have it easy too, just like guys who prioritize style might have as much if not more than I do. Cue style guy vs chill guy. Aha! Maybe the key is to swap to being chill girl instead of style girl. Buttttt I loveeee style. And therein pops that can of worms. And then there’s all those life things that I just want to be prepared for because the path ahead is so unknown.

So here’s some thoughts I use to dissect this—

Minimalism

The high cost of low quality goods

Stereotypes 

The style rabbit hole

How prepared is too prepared 

The capsule wardrobe goal

And then considering, what would minimalist functional style look like? Ohh, your girl likes a good challenge! So far my style is neutral chic as coined by my fellow travelers. And rumor has it there’s a guy in the group ahead of us that travels with a single carry on and a backpack! Now I’m not sure about getting there but I darn well wouldn’t mind getting as close as I can. 

And for this reason too, I’ve been wanting to start my own fashion line. What I’ve been after is a versatile yet stylish wardrobe that can accommodate all the climates I’ll encounter while traveling. We’re in a pretty moderate range so I have to believe it’s possible! 

Today I found a brand called Vetta Capsule. They had so much variety in 5-pieces and I dug in investigating how they did it cuz the example shots they provided were quite impressive. And then I realized their sample shots had alt colors and def more than 5-pieces. But it prompted an interesting thought— how little could I actually get away with?

So I’ll probs take this on, cuz I really want to get that initial number down. 

UPDATE: I took it on— rid my suitcases of 3-shopping bags worth of stuff and felt lighter than ever! It’s been a 2-months without now, and you’ll still catch me on occasion being like dang I got rid of that. Even so, I think the only thing I really miss are my sneakers that slip on and off without tying them. They were a bit worn out so figured I’d get new ones but haven’t been able to rationalize the spend/add when all my other shoes work just fine. The travel ease has been so worth it though. Highly recommend.

So let’s talk about minimalism

I’m sure you’ve heard the term Minimalism before— Intrigued? Gasp? Umm not for me? Or maybe it is, because…

Minimalism can look different for everyone. 

The main premise here isn’t to get rid of everything to live with as little as possible, the actual point is to live with only the things that bring more to your life than they take— read: time, energy, money.

The point of minimalism is freedom, not restriction. And freedom to everyone looks a little different. 

Want to explore this further? Let me know in the comments.

Sustainable swaps for the bedroom

Here’s some sustainable swaps to get you started on your intentional home journey—

Go for a duvet over a comforter

Duvets allow you to change the look of your space just by changing out the cover you use for it, rather than replacing the whole thing like you would with a comforter. This allows you to have different looks for different seasons, as well as saves on your laundry by only needing to wash the cover rather than the full thing, extending the life of the part that actually keeps you warm! With a duvet, you also have a choice of the fill and outer material.

Choose a white (or neutral) base

A neutral base essentially allows your space to be a blank canvas and think of everything you add on top to be the paint. This way, to change out the space, your base will stay the same, but the way you paint changes. Swapping accessories is way easier and provides so much more flexibility for when you do want to make changes.

Use throw blankets, duvet covers, and pillow covers to showcase your style

These are where you can have so much fun. It’s amazing what adding a few of these can do to change the feel of a space, and that’s exactly what you want to do. Take your blank slate and create a vibe!

Utilize a variety of color, texture & pattern to engage the senses

It’s amazing what variety can do to bring us back to the present moment. It’s like a wake up for the brain from autopilot to engage with something new and unexpected. This can also help infuse our spaces with memories.

Use accessories to add bits of your personality

Beyond the textiles, you can also start to include trinkets, wall art, found objects— anything that speaks to you and makes you feel the space is your own. Use these to bring out joy for yourself— could even be things like candles, diffusers, chandeliers— anything that invokes a greater sense of you in the space.

How to buy clothing you’ll actually want to wear over and over

We’ve all been in that spot where we see something in the store, get it home and never wear it or wear it just once and it’s left forgotten in the back of the closet.

Well no more!

Not only is it actually a waste of our hard earned money, we deserve to do better for ourselves!

Imagine opening your closet and loving absolutely everything that’s in there, knowing you feel confident in every bit of it, and looking forward to the next time you’ll wear each one!

That’s what we want.

And it all starts with our standards. 

A few things to know before shopping—

• Know your proportions

• Know what styles flatter & feel best on your body

• Know how to identify quality made goods

• Know what materials provide you the most comfort

Questions to ask yourself while shopping—

• Is it versatile?

• Can it be worn for multiple occasions?

• Do I already have something like it?

• Is it a duplicate or providing something new to my wardrobe?

• How does it feel when I first put it on?

My mom has this rule that if you have to look at it too long, it’s not a winner. Now I take that one step further and am like if I don’t immediately love how something looks on me, back on the rack it goes! Simply because, I want to love how I look in everything I wear and if I have to justify it to myself, I’m likely going to do that every time and that is just not the confidence booster I’m looking for in my wardrobe. 

Have any other tips you use?
Share them in the comments!

Aligned Closet: A Roadmap

So you’re ready to get your Aligned Closet going! Congrats!!

Shifting your shopping perspective—

Keep this excitement high as long as you can because on this ride, we’re going to need to learn how to surf or we’ll get caught up in the waves.

The great thing is, with a quick google you’ll find lists of brands that produce clothing sustainably and you’ll find a whole plethora of options. 

Once you start digging, you’ll also notice these prices are way higher than anything you’re used to paying and you may think dang the only way I could buy these is to be rich and I’m not made of money so what am I supposed to do? 

Now for that, I have a few tricks-of-the-trade to help you navigate these new waters! I’ll be here to guide you along the way— cuz I’ve been there! And wow do I wish I had a hand to hold, so here I am to hold yours!

Here we go!

Here’s where sustainability gets fun and becomes a
choose-your-own-adventure. 

—

Adventure #1 - Reframing value

Go into your closet. 

How much are you used to spending on an article of clothing? $10? Okay now pick out 10 shirts that you haven’t worn in the past 3-months. That is $100 right there. And instead of having 10 items that you never wear, you invest that same amount of money into an article of clothing of higher quality that you actually enjoy and will wear over and over.

Adventure #2 - Change where you buy

Shop Local

Keeping money in local circulation is the best thing we can do to make our communities stronger. It helps people who are pursing their passions in business, you know where it comes from and who it’s supporting and typically also have a direct connection to the sourcing so you know exactly what you’re getting and from where. I’ve found I can make great friends with the business owners as well and often get an inside scoop at the process and appreciate the goods I purchase even more!

Shop Sustainable Fashion

Find brands that produce with sustainability at their core. You can do this by googling and you’ll find a list of brands. Start checking the about pages to find brands that resonate with you and uphold the values that align with yours.

Shop Thrift & Vintage

Secondhand shopping is the one place I found that I can still get bargain prices without costing the planet. And truly it’s the most sustainable option even over buying new goods that were produced sustainably from the start. By purchasing goods that have already been created, we are becoming part of the solution rather than contributing to the problem. 

I personally implement a combo of the two. I try to buy secondhand where I can, and fill in the blanks with sustainable clothing. 

Adventure #3 - Extend the life

Some other things to consider—

Do I actually need to buy anything new at all?

Maybe it’s a matter of reorganizing or clearing things out so I can actually see what I do have that I enjoy.

Or maybe it’s reworking clothing that I do have to actually fit me better— take it to a tailor, repair, etc.

Or maybe it’s hosting a closet swap with friends.

— A look ahead —

After you start doing this for a while you’ll find your go-to brands and practices. But that can definitely be one of the main challenges when starting out.

Once you have these basics down, you may be wondering well how do I even know what is sustainable when I start looking for alternatives?

Which brings us to the actual key to sustainability— allowing only items into your life that actually serve you, your lifestyle and your goals and that could be different for everyone.

The more I learn about sustainability, I realize these principles can really be applied to every aspect of my life. And from here I started to look at my entire home & lifestyle from the lens of sustainability. It’s best to take things step by step, because an overhaul of an entire lifetime of habits can take some time!

If you’d like some guided challenges to walk you through with ease & get you started taking one step at a time, let me know in the comments.

Sustainable clothing matters to me— here’s why

Sustainability has been an 8-year journey for me so far. It all started with a little documentary called ‘The True Cost’ and snowballed into an entire lifestyle recalibration. What I learned in that documentary forever changed the way I look at the world around me and my role in it. Here’s some of those realizations—

I had no idea it’s mostly people that make our clothing. I thought they were made on machines.

I had no idea these people are subject to such poor working conditions that even when they noticed a crack in the wall, their managers made them keep working to stay on schedule. And when those cracks turned into a collapsing building, thousands of people lost their lives in the pursuit of meeting quotas.

I had no idea that major stores were the culprits behind these deadlines— Gap, H&M, Forever 21, Old Navy. 

That these mass manufacturers compete against each other for the lowest prices. That these countries depend so much on their large orders that they have no choice but to offer the lowest bid or they lose out contracts that keep them in business and their people employed. Meanwhile corporate revenues are getting higher and higher each year. 

I didn’t know bargain clothing is the business of exploitation. 

I didn’t know that these clothing brands now implement a 52-season cycle, a new cycle for each week to keep us coming back for more and more. There used to be 4-seasons. 

I didn’t know that any donations we make, only 10% end up in thrift stores in the US with the rest shipped overseas to form literal mountains of unwanted clothing. 

I didn’t know those same donations are ruining previously thriving industries of skilled seamstresses because there is no more demand for locally produced clothing. 

I didn’t know there isn’t a way to effectively recycle clothing because most of the garments are made of mixed components that we do not yet have the technology to separate. 

I didn’t know most cotton used for clothing is produced in Texas and India.

I didn’t know that the wide use of pesticide on crops like cotton causes cancer. And I didn’t know that Texas has the most cancer centers in the world. Coincidence? I think not. 

I didn’t know the manufacturing processes like the dying of clothing or tanning of leathers cause birth defects in regions it is practiced because the runoff and waste infiltrates the ground water. 

I didn’t know the companies that commission the production of these goods are not held responsible for the impact of their production. 

I didn’t realize a t-shirt should never cost $5. And the only way it can is because it completely ignores the social and environmental responsibilities of production.

I didn’t realize there are so many hidden costs to the planet and our fellow humans in the manufacturing of clothing that no-one is taking responsibility for. 

I had no idea of the environmental and social impacts my purchases were supporting, and that by spending my dollar I was making a vote to continue those practices. And with my same dollar I could vote for something else. 

This is the journey of me finding that something else. I call it the—

Aligned Closet

To begin your own Aligned Closet journey—
START HERE:

Aligned Closet— A Roadmap

You’ve come farther than you realize

It’s important to reflect— identify mile markers and take inventory to know where you are now, where you came from, what worked, what didn’t, what you’d like to try differently next time, what you’ve already tried and how it turned out.

This insight becomes your toolkit, a guide to help you navigate the next steps.

I find if I don’t pay attention, the things keep happening the same way over and over. The only thing that can make it different is if I break that pattern and do something differently.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. Sometimes you don’t know where the change needs to be made even, so that’s why you start with reflection.

Reflection gives you a birds eye view where you can start to see patterns that you might not see by just being in the day-to-day of it.

It’s such a powerful tool. It requires you to pay attention and start being an observer of your own life. And when you do, you’d be surprised what you start to uncover. 

There’s so many amazing things that have come out of that too. Realizing how much you actually have grown, or where you are growing where you didn’t realize and are finally giving yourself credit for.

You can see your own progress and feel good that you are moving forward where maybe you were feeling you were stuck or stagnant.

It’s an incredible eye-opener across the entire spectrum.

Some things will be a joy to notice and process and others will be surprising and may well bring you to tears. But the beauty is, you have the power to do things differently.

You may not be able to change what happened, but you can change how you think about those experiences, how you’ll handle similar situations in the future and you can use your previous experience to make more educated decisions for your now. 

And that is where all the growth and your power in your own life lies. It’s in your hands. And you already have everything you need to start taking those first steps to being the director of your own life story.

Maybe what seemed like the end of the movie, is now only the beginning and you’re better, wiser now, and now the possibilities are open ended. You’ve gone down this road before, but you’re more experienced, more prepared and this time around it’ll be smoother and since time too has changed things, maybe the terrain has changed slightly and you’ll notice new things you didn’t notice before. And this experience will become something completely new. And the old will fade away in it’s severity and be replaced by the more recent and you can look back and be grateful for the first, knowing that the second is so good because of everything the first one opened your eyes to. 

It all starts with reflection.

Our power is in our choices

Every day is an opportunity at a new start, a new beginning, slowly honing it until we’re living in a way that makes us feel like our life is ours and what we want it to be.

The movie Groundhog Day takes on such a new dimension for me now. I understand that life is about iteration, about learning from the day before and making slight alterations that over time bring us to a new reality entirely.

Life can be beautiful, and so much of the level of beauty we experience lies in our hands.

It’s a tough pill to swallow in actuality. It’s much easier to say this is just how things are or this is just me and this is life, but if we’re willing to take responsibility, we realize we have a lot more say in our lives than we may have previously thought— that our direction is very much tied to the choices we make for ourselves.

We realize too, that our main power lies in the little daily choices we make, because those are what add up to create the bigger changes. And they might be slow and hard to see, but then in hindsight— that’s where you see how it all adds up.

And that is why reflection is so important. 

Reflection saved me from my victim mindset

Reflection has 100% been the key.

Reflection has enabled me to step out of the victim mentality I was living in where life happened to me and shift into taking responsibility for my life, my choices and realize life happens for me by me.

It’s me now understanding from what place choices were made, what influenced them and filtering out what was me, my conditioning, fear, insecurity and the like.

And in all these years identifying the nature of the thoughts, I’ve also been working on shifting my mindsets, perspectives and actually caring for and nurturing my own person—  my health, wellbeing, and ultimately understanding and accepting myself as I am.

I know I will always grow, but a huge part has been forgiving myself and understanding this is all part of the process.

I’m moving forward with openness and love, not only with others, but first and foremost for myself.

Getting very real and honest with myself. Going into the shadows. Embracing the light.

It’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also the most worthwhile.

It’s 100% why I am where I am today, and where much of it was painful and uncomfortable, it’s brought more clarity and fulfillment than anything else.

The perspective I have now compared to then is night and day.

Where I used to see life as happening to me, I now can see that I have power in my life and I’m understanding how to use that power and autonomy every day.

I’m learning to take responsibility for my experience, and because I am, my life is unfolding in a way that I never could have dreamt for myself.

All that used to have such a hold on me and my happiness (or lack of) is slowly fizzling away and now I’m more present, hopeful, and energized than ever. And it’s beautiful. 

I’m here for the unfolding.

Hindsight is 20/20 in all it’s bittersweetness

I used to be very angry at hindsight— the clarity that came with that 20/20 vision is amazing— yet also very cruel that to truly understand something to it’s fullest, you had to experience it and reflect on it only later.

I’d wonder why we had to experience pain, only to realize down the line how we could have prevented ourselves that pain or done something differently to produce a more favorable result.

What I’m realizing entering on this life cycle now, is that it wasn’t actually all for not. I just wasn’t zoomed out enough to understand or see that actually it would all come to play again.

Yes, I lost the life I was living, and many of the people and circumstances are different, but in no way was it all for not. And those were the lessons I needed to learn in order to come into my fullest possible version of present self.

Now knowing this, I have no doubt that the cycles will then continue— and for the first time I welcome them. It’s an opportunity to show myself what I’m made of.

Therein lies the real test— applying everything I’ve learned up until this point to my current reality— my now. All the things I’d wished I could’ve back to do differently are now those are the very things I can do differently in my current life.

We can only ever do the best we can with what we know and that life experience helped me know so much more for now than I did then. But it’s not just the life experience that’s gotten me to this point of understanding, it’s the lessons that I’ve learned through reflection.

Reflection has 100% been the key.

I’m finding life works in cycles

The more I pay attention &
connect with my feelings,
the more I’m noticing—

‘Hey, I’ve felt this before.’

When I identify the circumstances when I last felt this way, I’m realizing so many of the feelings lately were feelings I felt from when I was 19-21 years old. Now during that time, I experienced a massive split. I was coming into my own, expressing, being myself… and then cut it short. I followed the path that others set out before me, rather than choosing the path that I was feeling innately pulled toward.

It was a time where I was majorly led more with my head and hardly in touch with my heart. I recognize the feelings I’m feeling now are the same as when I was faced with the choices and scenarios I was in then.

Where the circumstances now have changed slightly and the options for direction quite similar, the main essence is the same. And it feels almost as though— I’ve been given a second chance.

I can see how leading with my head and allowing others power over my choices turned out through my life experience since then. Now I’m pondering what if I choose myself this time?

This is what I’m setting out to explore.

That mission is my life right now—

To apply everything I’ve learned &
see how it all plays out.

I’m starting to recognize where I’d given up power and autonomy over my life. It’s been both insightful and challenging to be confronted with all the areas.

It’s interesting now to be able to see where I do have choice and imagine how things might turn out differently this time.

It’s uncomfortable to face, yet absolutely beautiful— because I never thought I’d have a second chance to do things differently. And now I see, I absolutely do.

So now the question & experiment is— What will my life look like when I choose my own wants, needs, and desires without allowing others to have more influence in my life than I myself give to me?

I’m set on exploring this new territory.

Thank the royal you for guiding me here. The time is now— seeing where the path of me leads and discovering what this new direction can bring and teach along the way.

Fill thy own cup.
Share what overflows.

with love. xoxo

A poem called Me&True

You make me walk and talk
In a way I haven’t walked or talked in a long while
And when I say you make me
I mean you make way for me
To spread my wings
And fly
By facing me
And saying to me
Hello, you can reach the sky
The words that flow from me to you
Reach farther than what we say or do
They speak volumes of where we’ve been
And now’s the time, we’re here for the win
The life, the race, the time, the place
The over, under, up and down
That brought us to right here, right now
To wonder how 
Is to wonder why
And that is to give ourselves a try
Cuz deep down we know inside
There’s nowhere left to run or hide
This life, we deserve this now
But not deserve like deserve
But deserve like wow
Thank you
For bringing out what’s good and true
It’s been a long road getting to you
All making some sort of sense
Not tense pretense
A place of rest and relaxation
Like I’m on a fucking vacation
But on the daily
Daily mix
Jamming out
To a love like bliss
Into a mythical world
The abyss
Where you and I
We touch the sky
We laugh until we cry 
You look me in the eye
Natural like we don’t even try
Knowing the words we want to say
Reaching in and taking on the day
Okay, okay 
I’m more than okay
I breathe, I’m alive
I see the sun
In the way this shines
Star light, star bright
Take me deep into the night
Loving you
Loving me
Living peace
You help me see
Open my eyes
Leave the disguise
So happy here
And we just don’t fear
Cuz now is better 
Better, better still
Living lover
Let’s stay and chill
Partner, patron, friend
I’ll ride this road
Til this long road ends
And the old one bends
Into another
Come along my dearest lover
Taking us further, further still 
Through every twist and turn
Oh, tell me why does my heart yearn
For your touch, for your feel
My hands are up
Bliss take the wheel
Cuz I’ll ride with you
Forevermore
As we journey on
Through all the open doors
Goodbye familiar roads
To places only the warm heart grows
Glimpses here 
And hunches there
Drifting off in a dreamlike stare
Stare at you 
All through the night
Into the day
Turn off the light
Sweet sights
And sounds
Making their rounds
Through the cycle of the day
Let’s make our own way
To the dawn that shines brighter still
Being here I watch my beaker fill
Glass I mean
The glass that I’ve previously seen
Drip drop 
Is now spilling over the top
Over the top
Over the top
We’ve made it
Here
Now
Present still
Listen how
It’s presence here
Present here
This present 
Here
This life
Living
Loving
Lovely

Lovely 
Loving 
You

Loving
Being
Me

Mo.6 Travel Reflection

Somehow I’m now in
South Africa in MONTH 6
of my year-long travel journey. 

I thought I’d be sharing every step along the way in real time, but every time I went to post I had a hard time figuring out how to actually share the reality of what this journey actually is.

I’ve hardly posted on social media because I knew I didn’t want to share the ‘life is great’ instagram version because honestly for as much outward beauty as there has been, it’s also been one of the most challenging experiences of my life and in ways I never expected. I did expect to be faced with cultural differences and be exposed to different ways of living, but that ended up being far easier to navigate.

The most difficult part to face was that ‘Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.’

Between living the ‘dream life’ and stripping away all the knowns, I soon realized that there isn’t a single place on earth that will fill the void that’s lived inside of me. There isn’t even a single thing that exists outside of me that can take it away. The only thing that can fill that void is, well, my relationship with me. And that, my dear friend, has been the toughest pill to swallow. 

On this journey I realized how much credit I’d given external things for the way my life was playing out and how I felt in it— whether that be location, environment, people, things. If only this then I’ll be happy, if only that then I can be the person I want to be. And after years of trial and error and adding things and stripping things away, on this trip it’s all come to be blatantly clear that my perception of my outward experience is a direct reflection of my inward experience.

What I choose to focus on, is what I will see.

That this feeling I’m searching for, cannot be found anywhere but inside of me. No place or thing or person can make me feel that lasting sense of wholeness I’ve been seeking. The place it can be found comes from deep within me.

It’s one of those things that I’ve heard over and over but doesn’t click until it clicks and when it does it’s like ohhhhhhh, that’s what that meant. I get it now.

It’s a surrender.
It’s a deep acceptance of the fact that I alone am responsible for the quality of my experience.
Only I can determine how I feel in life.
Only I can save me.
Only I can make my life everything I want it to be.
Noone is going to come in and do it for me, nobody can. It’s all up to me.
And that’s not to say the people in our lives don’t play a part, they certainly do, but they are not responsible for our happiness or sadness or sense of fulfillment or anything really, that is all on me.

And that, that is the journey of me coming back to me. 

---

Here I am. 

I’ve had to face the fact that I feel how I feel because I allow myself to.

I think what I think because of the thoughts that I allow to be entertained.

My life experience is a direct reflection of what I allow into my life, what I feel I am worthy of, what I feel I deserve, how much I value myself.

I realize that my outer world is a direct reflection of my inner world.

My state of mind, is the state of my beliefs about myself. I used others to determine my own worth and value, but really they serve as reflections of myself— a way to see all the ways I am lacking or have fallen short in my own eyes.

I realize that the love I had for myself was conditional.

That I placed my value in what I was able to achieve. And with that perspective, I would never be enough to myself, because there would always be the need for more.

When I step back and look at where my life is now compared to 2, 5, 10 years ago, past me would have been amazed at where I am now. Yet why does current me feel like I’m not enough.

These are the kinds of questions I’ve been exploring on this journey.

Looking into what it is to be human, what it is to have this life experience, what it is to love, especially ourselves.

I had no idea how little regard I had for myself.

I realized I would shift myself to accommodate those around me, even to my own detriment. That I was afraid of rocking the boat or being an inconvenience. I was afraid of taking up space. I’d dismiss my own thoughts, wants and needs for the sake of being agreeable and accepted. And since I never expressed my own needs, I’d expect people to know how to fill them and to read me the way I’d learned to read them.

I was looking for someone to look after me the way I look after them. I also realized what an impossible task that actually is. And I learned the way I care, is the way I want to be cared for.

And that the best person to give myself that care I seek is me.

Because if we really think about it, how much easier would it make things if everyone just looked after themselves, like truly took great care to nourish their own sense of wellbeing.

How would I show up for others if I were already completely taken care of in my own being. What would a world like that even look like. And it’s a world I’d actually really like to see.

Because if everyone is coming together with their glasses already full, then all that’s left is for us to enjoy each other.

It is through our pain and fears and insecurities, unresolved traumas that I feel all suffering stems from.

If we can heal those within ourselves and fill our own cups, what a world that could be. 

There’s something someone once illustrated to me and that’s the image of two glasses that are half full. If one gives to the other, then someone is always left feeling like less than when they started, and an equal exchange leaves them feeling the same. But if somehow we are able to fill our own cup from within and get it to a place where it is then overflowing, all the runoff we can share with others and never feel less than full on our own.

As long as we are overflowing, we can give without depleting ourselves we remain whole.

And that is what I am learning now to do. To fill my own cup.

It seems everyday there is a new lesson or experiment in what that looks and feels like.

It’s a lot of trial and error and the releasing of expectations.

It is everything and nothing.

It is simply the art of being.

I don’t need to learn to love myself, I need to learn to love being myself.

And that feels far more tangible endeavor. 

Over the past 5 months, every experience has provided breadcrumbs and helped me put together the pieces of this puzzle, helped me solve the mystery of what this is and what it looks like.

All the pieces are starting to come together now and since they are…

I feel like now I can reflect on and share what I have come to see. 

To do this, I’ll be taking you back to the beginning of this journey. 

And for that, WE MUST GO TO PERU.

— to be continued —

Dealing with overwhelm

As I’m working on building this brand, I noticed I go from extreme excitement where ideas are flowing and the big picture continues unfolding and then the overwhelm creeps in little by little until it becomes crippling not knowing where I should even start to make all of this come to life.

I’m such a big picture, dreamer type person that when it comes down to bringing it to life, I have difficulty prioritizing what needs to be done first. And with so much to do I want to do things efficiently. I start down a path and realize how long it will take after digging into it and then question if this is the best thing to be spending my time on. It’s why after years of working, I have much in the background that never gets brought through to completion.

I’m getting this feeling of overwhelm now and I realized the way I soothe it currently is with consumption— be it food, coffee/tea, shopping, scrolling media. I know the opposite of consumption is creation. So now I’m trying to focus on how to keep my nervous system calm enough to actually push through and get something finished.

It’s ironic because the thing I’m getting finished is this post, which makes me smile a bit knowing that at least something useful will come out of all this! I got dressed and looked for a restaurant and had to question— am I even hungry, or am I just trying to soothe this anxious feeling I have inside. And I realized it’s a bit of both, but mostly the anxious bit.

What does the overwhelm feel like in my body?

• A pit in my stomach

• Fiddling legs

• Racing mind

• Mentally looking for an escape activity

• Constantly reminding myself to refocus

Ways to calm my nervous system:

Give in

Temporary fix, but then the guilt of not moving things forward brings out other negative emotions after. Not the best fix, but certainly one I’ve used and let me tell you, I already know what that side of the coin looks like so I’ll move onto a few that actually help me regain my focus and excitement.

Breathe

Taking 10 slow, focused breaths can help slow the mind down. I’m always amazed by how much this helps. There’s something about paying attention to my inhale and exhale that reminds me everything is okay. It’s like it sends a signal to my anxious body that it’s okay to be calm.

Gratitude list

Focusing on the good can help curb the anxious spiral and get back on a positive thought path. I do this by asking myself—

In what ways is this good?

• So many ideas!

• Great content to share

• Allows me to speak on what I’m passionate about

Reframe

Shifting the feeling to excitement. Scientifically, the chemical reaction for overwhelm and excitement is the same, it’s just a matter of how we decide to translate it. Athletes use this trick and can be the make or break for their game— get hyped up or psyched out. It happens to the most talented people and it’s all about building up that mental resilience.

Self-Talk

I do this by using affirmations. I typically turn to the wonderful mentors on TikTok here, so I’m sharing some of my favorite tips and reminders that help me shift the dialogue that’s happening in my brain.

There’s all the time left.

One step at a time.

I’ve got this!

Lisbon, Portugal: D.1 Travel Reflection

We made it to Lisbon!!! Europe portion of the trip here we are! Check out the first full day below :)

Today I…

Am grateful for—

• Coworking with a water view <3

• Breakfast with my fellow Lewies!

• Plans with new friends (socializing with the new program Sistelo)

• Creating videos

• Leaning into the things I enjoy

• The vintage shop on my path, the interaction & finds there!!

• Creating a workflow

• The joy of walking through a new & vibrant city

Explored—

• The waterfront & coworking

• [Name of vintage shop]

• LX Market

Created—

A workflow

1. Explore & capture footage

2. Import footage into Photos

3. Export footage to hard drive

4. Daily reflection

5. Import footage into Premiere

6. Edit!!

7. Export & watchdown

Acts of Self-Love

• Dressed myself up

• Followed my flow

• Created!!

• Fed my body good foods

• Walked everywhere

• Took in some sunshine

• Evening yoga & meditation

• Shared what I created!!

This is 32 ❤︎

Another year older and another year wiser and wow has this world tour adventure ever made me the wiser! It’s been 4-months since I set off on this journey and it’s both everything I thought it would be and way more challenging in ways I never knew it would be. I’ve learned more about myself than I knew possible in such a short span. I am so grateful for the opportunity to embark on this adventure— and by opportunity I mean I’m glad I decided to make this a priority and actually go for it. It required a lot of sacrifice— leaving friends, family, stability, knowns behind— but what I’m gaining I know is bringing me back to myself and from there I can be the best for everybody around me. Thank you for all the love and support! xoxo

What I look forward to embodying this year—

Connection

Since I’ve been traveling, I’ve certainly been connecting with more people inherently, but what I want to focus on now is staying connected to my inner circle. you’d think this would be the easier one, but reality is keeping in touch is a new skill for me. I’ve been more of a responder than a reacher-outer. I’m ready to be a reacher-outer and invite people to share in this journey with me and I in theirs. I really do love people, especially my people. And I’m done letting all the self-negative thoughts get in the way of the beauty that is already there. I’ve been working a lot on re-framing my mindset and this is one place I’d like to put it into action.

Creativity

A major focus up to this point has been on productivity, but what I’ve been learning is that I feel far more fulfilled and whole when I am creating. I realized I’ve taken a passive stance the past few years— doing a lot of learning and absorbing, but not a lot of active applying. This is my wish for myself this year, is that I apply all that I have learned, experiment and enjoy the ride. I’m excited to see what comes from the hands of mine, flows through this spirit and is brought to life! All the world around us is created and I want to be a creator of this world!

Fun

I came across a quote that prompted a shift in perspective— it said instead of learning to love myself, it would be a more worthwhile endeavor to learn to love being myself. And that sentiment has shifted absolutely everything! Of course my life is better when I’m having fun, thinking through the lens of fun, enjoying my time like I did as a kid. What it really challenges me to do is to see life through the same lens of child-like wonder as when I was younger. That spin brings such a positive light, discovery and joy. The fun also is creating memories in what otherwise might be missed in the mundane. It’s a challenge to embrace every moment and be fully present, and I’m here for it!

Growth goals—

Self-love // I’m realizing that caring for my mind/body/soul is the first step in bringing anything else into my life of substance. This also includes being selfish with my time and my energy. It’s filling my own cup first, so that I can share from a cup that is overflowing rather than allowing my own to run empty. It’s a massive shift that is massively important.

Expression // There’s actually quite a bit I’ve been wanting to share and across a few subjects— personal growth/development, creativity and ideas. This growth journey is not an easy one, and I’m so grateful to everyone who has shared theirs and served as a guidepost along the way. I’d like to pass that forward for anyone who can learn and grow from my experience. I’d also like to explore and share the parts of me I’m discovering. By being open with myself, I’m affirming to the part of my brain that likes to keep me safe, that this version of me is welcomed and loved— no need for filters or masks here, we’re free to be.

AcroYoga // I find this art form to be one of the most beautiful. It’s like dance, athleticism and vulnerability all wrapped in one. I’d also love to find a partner— take that as you will ;) To begin though, I’d love to be more in tune with my body— able to move as a wish as a form of expression, flow and connection to myself.

Consistency // It’s finally hitting that the way forward is one step at a time. Lasting change comes from small decisions made everyday. Small things add up to be big things and every day is an opportunity to start anew.

A new perspective—

I’m living into my 33rd year!

Yep! I saw someone who introduced me to this perspective and it’s that instead of marking the completion of a year (32), we could instead celebrate living into the year we’re currently in. I like this idea a lot— she also put it way more eloquently and I’m not even sure I’d be sold on my explanation of it lol so if I can find the original then I’ll update! With that in mind, I’ve just been into numbers lately and here’s what’s on the table for 33!

33 is the number of creativity and spiritual illumination, new opportunities, all things are possible. It’s pretty incredible that these are exactly where my focus is! So I’m running with it!

Designing my life //
Creativity and spiritual illumination

Show up on TikTok

May seem a bit random, but it feels like the best place for me to start sharing my ideas, growth and insights as I’m going through this personal development journey. Not only would I like to document it for myself, but I think it would be a nice way to pass forward all the knowledge and tidbits that have helped me along the way in case they can help someone else too!

Make my website a living log portfolio

I’d love to embody and explore my creativity in all forms, also by documenting. Really I’d like to try and share all the things that interest me. It feels like a way of expressing myself, honoring my voice and exploring what lives within that wants to come out into this world!

Documenting

So as mentioned, both TikTok and my website will be hubs for documenting this journey— but as we know all goals need something measurable. I’d like to hold myself to posting 5x/day on TikTok and 1x/day on my site to document the daily progress and journal. It’s a little nerve-wracking but part of me feels like it could be so freeing just to be an open book. Creatively, I’d like to have at least a project to post 1x/week. If I don’t take myself seriously, who else will!

Projects in mind—

• Daily/Weekly/Monthly Check-ins

• Travels Recaps - Regional/By Country

• Documenting biz building

• Journal to be turned into a visual recap

• Artwork based on travels

• Podcast! Conversations with friends about growth and with people who are designing their life

• So many more. Youtube, creative video art, photography, music, maybe this is why I still haven’t shared cuz there’s so many random things!

PS. In my brain these all sound awesome and a bit lackluster when typed out. All the more reason to bring them to life and reveal what I see in my brain! One at a time!

With fun & love!

xx tara

Better now than never

It’s been 2-weeks since I’ve gone live with my site.

My Intention vs. Reality

My intention was to post daily, starting a cumulation of my insights, travels, experiences, interests, etc. What I get caught up in is overthinking. Everything. What if I were to just produce. What would happen if I just shared.

I’m trying to figure out…

What’s keeping me in this loop

The answer to that, seems to be discipline. Or self-value worth. Even as I write this, it’s me again analyzing rather than just doing. Although this post itself could be considered doing. But what I really want is to create new things. So in an effort to do that, I’m going change things up a bit to create new things!

Try something different

I’ve done a lot of prepping, so now it might be high time to do. Now if you’ve been with me for a while, you’d also know I’ve said this before. I know it all takes practice. So I’ll try to keep in mind being easier on myself, but also following through for myself. So here we go, to what I wish I’d started months ago when this journey began. That I’m also being gentle with myself for the time that’s passed from first having the thought. The only thing to do now, is bring it to life!

It all starts now

I’ve heard before, if you can dream it you can do it. And what is time anyways— I hear it’s a construct. And if we run with that premise then who really cares if it was then or now, the fact is that it is. So, here’s to what this was intended to be. What it is intended to be. To what wants to be brought to life.

MWAH!

The site is LIVE!

Hello World!

This site is liveeeeeeeeeee!

After putting so much pressure on getting this site up and running, I decided ‘Ya know what, I’m just going to make it live with the very minimum and build as I go!’

Done with waiting for perfection and in with imperfect action and iterating.

It’s also going to be such a beautiful journey to share the development of this site, to let you join along and see the growth live in action. Seriously, this is my baby so be prepared for all those milestone announcements and photos that you’d normally get from all your friends that just had a kid ;)

I am just over the moon that this project is live now!

I definitely built it up more in my mind than it needed to be. I think what helped is deciding to launch with the ‘minimum viable product’ if you’re into biz terms. Read BLOG here. I’d built out a home page, scrapped it, built out another one, sat on it, started building out another one and was like what am I doing here. Taking a step back, I realized the important bit is the information being presented. I have such a large backlog of content that I’m so excited to share— so much so that it was daunting thinking about getting it all up on here. But by making it live now, I feel like all that pressure is gone and I can just lead with excitement as each piece goes up. I now appreciate that this is going to be a journey of consistent daily effort.

Out with the bursts of hustle and in with sustainable growth.

Which works well because sustainability is a huge part of what I’ll be talking about on here. I’ll also be talking about fashion, home, food, wellness and mindset— or right and all through the lens of travel. Cuz if you didn’t hear— I’m traveling the world for a yearrrrrr! I’m 3-months in at the point of writing. And dang has it been confronting in so many ways that I didn’t expect. I’ll be sharing more about that too. A huge part of me not sharing so far is that I didn’t want this to be that insta-travel life kind of blog, website, social that seems so unreal and picture perfect and unattainable. This process has been far from perfect, but has also taught me so much and made me be confronted also by sooooo much. The personal growth has been out of this world, the ups and downs as steep as my favorite roller coasters and somehow, I finally found my footing and balance and am ready to launch into this life that I set out to design for myself.

The premise of this site is going to be an expose on designing your life—

All done through the lens of me as I document the journey of me designing mine. The goal is to set out and give back a roadmap for how to get to the life of your dreams. I’ll be pursuing my dream life and sharing all the sides of doing that along the way— the good, the bad, the ugly and also alll the beauty! This is what everything I’ve been doing has been building to and I’m so excited to share it with you. I’m hoping that through my journey, I can inspire you to pursue your dream life too. I also hope you know you always have a friend, cuz it can definitely be a lonely road. This is the road less traveled for sure, but it absolutely doesn’t mean we have to do it alone. So I’ll be there as best I can by sharing my experience so you know a bit of what to expect, gain some insight in how to navigate it and a knowing that this life is possible if you want it. It’s not for everyone, but if you have the calling and urge like me— this is the only way!

So here’s to this new journey ~

The journey of throwing everything out there, seeing what sticks, embarking on the different, entering the unknown, taking a leap of faith and trust and believing in myself and this path I’ve been called to follow. If that rings true to you too, I lead with a resounding—

We’ve got this!

So much love and warmth!

Here we gooooo! <3